Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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