i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
