I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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