I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
