Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
