oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
