Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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