i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
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