I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
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