i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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