We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
either way he was missing a nipple.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
When did angry sex become our thing?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
