gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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