her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
