I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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