my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
