please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
