I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
