there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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