I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
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