my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
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