Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize