she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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