Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
