apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
