Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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