she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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