so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
