Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
