I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
