Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
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There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
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I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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