Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I can't turn off my feet"
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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