And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
