why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
