wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
