a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
