nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize