Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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