I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
