i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Randomize
