yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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