He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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