Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
