So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
