U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
