I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
3pm strippers are depressing
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
