In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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