if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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