i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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