I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
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