I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
