Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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