those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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