idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
