I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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