**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
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And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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