Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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