I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
