Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
