Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
