the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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