Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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