we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
