You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You ruined the universe
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
