i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Bang-toberfest begins!!
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
