I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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