it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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