bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
