I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize