Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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